We survived!

I can't believe it, but somehow, we survived the last four months.

Life has calmed down now, and it's wonderful. The kids are out of school, and I have them on a pretty good routine of school time, piano lessons, swim lessons, going to the park, and just having fun together. Ahhh.... life is sweet when it slows down a little.

Priorities

Brian and I have been reflecting on how crazy our life has gotten over the past few months. He was called as the Ward Mission Leader and has been quite involved in meetings and other commitments with that. I was just called to be in the Relief Society Presidency (2nd couns.). I am also costuming a community production of Oklahoma and doing some transcription work on the computer. I, of course, am also a taxi service, taking Dallin and Alyssa back and forth to school. We were commenting that we aren't really going to see each other much anymore. On Saturday, we went to the Worldwide Leadership Training, and it was emphasized over and over that family comes first. A calling should never take the place of family. Other commitments shouldn't either. But how do we find the balance?

We are both pretty new in our callings still, but I'm sure as we figure them out, the balance will come. I'm trying to have faith that it will all work out and that I can be a good mom first, but also a good presidency member, a good costumer, and a good worker. As for a good housekeeper? I'm not so sure. That one might have to slide.

I must be dying!

I went to the doctor this past Monday convinced that I have cancer. My back pain has been so severe and it's spreading up into my neck and down to my hip, so of course I jumped to conclusions. Good news... no cancer. But I have a bladder infection, a severe vitamin D deficiency, possible sleep apnea, degenerative disc disease, facet disease, arthritis, a possible gall bladder problem, and I've shrunk 2 inches since high school. And I still have one more blood test and an MRI that I'm sure will both show additional problems. So there's no cancer, but I'm probably dying anyway. :0)

Parenting Breakthrough

Thanks Andrea for introducing me to "The Parenting Breakthrough" by Merrilee Boyack. I'm not completely done reading it, but it makes so much sense!

Brian and I often find ourselves complaining about all the irresponsible teenagers and young adults that don't know how to work, take care of themselves, save money, make responsible decisions, etc., but we never had a plan in place to make sure our kids don't turn out that way. I'm just glad we got this book before it was too late!

The subtitle of the book is "A real-life plan to teach your kids to work, save money, and be truly independant." There are a lot of things in the book I don't agree with, but the basic ideas are priceless. We have a plan for everything in our lives, but when it comes to our kids, we just try to keep them alive. In the process, they don't grow up, they just get bigger. When are they ever going to learn about finances if we don't teach them? How will they ever do their own laundry if we don't show them how? How will they ever move out and cook/clean/manage for themselves if we never trained them to? It makes so much sense! I suggest everyone read this book. The author is LDS, so she also has tips on how to keep your kids active in church and encourage missions and temple marriages. It's great!

Brian's gone again...

I've had a horrible day. Brian is down in Fillmore again and Dallin and Alyssa are intent on driving me completely bonkers. Brian doesn't get back until Thursday evening, and I'm afraid he's going to come back to a crazy wife, dirty and hungry children, and the messiest house he's ever seen. I need to get some motivation going here. I haven't posted forever, so I thought this was a good start. Hopefully I'll feel like I accomplished something afterward and it will give me the encouragement I need to get going on something else.

The summer has passed by so quickly that I can't believe Dallin starts school on Monday. I'm not ready. He's going to another school and he has to take the bus. He just turned six on Saturday and my paranoid mother brain is telling me that he's too young to ride the bus. He's too young to stay away from me all day every day and make it on the bus to get home. He's too young to open his applesauce, zip his jacket, make new friends, buy a lunch, find the bathroom, etc. I know it's irrational, but I think every mom must go through these feelings to an extent when their oldest goes to school. I am excited for him to start at this new school though. It's for kids that are advanced readers. Because the kids are advanced, they can focus on other things that other schools don't, like music, art, and drama. I'm really thrilled he was accepted. I just need to get past all my fears about him going.

Alyssa doesn't start preschool until September 8, so we'll have some time together for a few weeks. I wish she was going to kindergarten. She's so ready. At least she enjoys preschool, more for the social aspect than anything. I'm glad she hasn't decided to be bored with it yet. We are thinking about getting her into dance again because that's all she does at home. She keeps asking to put her dance leotard on that's two sizes too small and just prances around the house. He favorite song to dance to is "Roxanne" from Moulin Rouge. She gets all dramatic and waves a scarf around and everything. It's pretty entertaining.

Emily is perfect. She is my best baby by far. I can't look at her without feeling this overwhelming love for her and gratitude that she is so good, because my other kids have started acting up to the extreme and I don't know how I could handle a fussy baby on top of everything they are dishing out. She is 3 1/2 months old now and has been sleeping through the night for over a month. She hardly cries, she eats right on schedule, sleeps all the time, smiles all the time for no apparent reason (my kids say she's smiling at the angels), and is just generally enjoyable in every way. We feel so blessed and can look back and realize what a blessing it was that we had to wait so long for her to join our family.

I feel so blessed to have children. Brian and I were talking about how common it is these days for people to not be able to have children and we've had our own troubles with that, so I am just so grateful that in the end I have 3 beautiful children to love. They were worth everything it took to get them here.

Brian's time in Fillmore is technically tapering off, but this week they asked him to come for 3 days instead of 1 or 2 that he's been doing for the past month. It's really hard to have him gone so long. It's gets me in such a slump at home. It's hard to function when I know I'll have no reinforcements coming home in the evening.

It's hard to believe the summer is almost over. I had so many plans, the biggest of which was going to be a hymn arrangement for our ward choir. I haven't even started it. I was sure that was going to be my big thing these past few months. It's amazing how time can get away from you so easily. Oh well. Andrea always picks the greatest music for us, so maybe next year I'll come up with my masterpiece.

Emily Rose Mecham

I just finished typing a narrative of my birth story... it was a few paragraphs long. Then it suddenly disappeared. I don't have the energy to type it again tonight. My eyes are closing as I speak. This computer is cruel! Doesn't it know that I'm the mother of a newborn and have very limited time to post an update to my blog?

Here's the summary... we had an ultrasound on April 30 that told us Emily was HUGE. We decided she had to come out that weekend. We tried all the home remedies and by 10:00 that night, I was in labor. We headed to the hospital at midnight and after a very uneventful boring day of very steady but weak contractions, Emily came at 8:02 p.m. after 2 hours of pushing. She wasn't as big as we thought, but plenty big for 3 weeks early. She was 8 lbs. 1 oz. She is a wonderful baby. Babies are such miracles. I could stare at her for hours.

Good night!

Weather

Brian and I have started to compare the weather report from the evening with the one the next morning. It's funny how much they differ. I don't think the meteorologists should try to predict anything other than the next 2 hours because it always changes!

Two weeks ago, we went on vacation for spring break. The weather report leading up to that week was saying how great the weather would be... we all know what really happened that week. We woke up to 6 inches of snow in Fillmore.

Meteorologists can't be trusted!

Early Easter

Since Easter occurs on Conference weekend this year, we decided to celebrate Easter early. I would be in heaven if these kids always acted as good as they look.

Good News!

Good news! Brian passed another of his architecture tests. I'm so happy for him (and for us)!

They make these tests so hard and they are so expensive that it just seems like he'll never get through, but it's starting to feel like he might survive the process after all. He has passed 9 tests and has 3 more to go now. He has one scheduled in April, one in May, and one in June, so hopefully, fingers crossed, he'll hear good news back from all of them and be licensed by July!

It's been so long....AGAIN!

So I haven't written in a while… is anyone surprised. I was doing pretty good there, but then let it slip after Christmas. Where has the time gone? This entry is going to be all over the place… so much to say and no time to organize my thoughts.

Julie was driving Alyssa somewhere yesterday and the car in front of them wasn't moving, I guess when the light turned green or something. Alyssa blurted out, "Are you going to park there, lady?" Julie and I have never said that before. I don't know where she got it, but she sure says funny things sometimes.

Dallin is doing so well in school that his teacher has sent him home with harder homework to keep his mind challenged… except the new homework isn't a challenge! It is harder, but as Dallin was describing it to Brian during our internet chat last night, Brian said that it sounded too hard. Dallin shook his head and said, "No, it's way easy." I don't know what we are going to do with him. He is so smart and is learning so much every day. Is he going to be the next Doogie Houser and graduate at 13?

We bought a new car seat/stroller system, a new play-yard/bassinet, a new diaper bag, and a diaper champ recently during a big sale at Babies-R-Us. Last week, we felt the urge to open it all and assemble it. Now we've got all this baby stuff out with nowhere to put it. I don't want it in the garage getting all dirty and dusty. I guess we should have thought of that before we opened it, but we were so anxious. It did help the whole thing to sink in a little. It's been so long since we've had a baby in the house, that the whole idea has seemed a little abstract to us

I'm feeling very pregnant and still have 3 more months to go. I should not complain, but was I wrong to think that being 30 pounds lighter this pregnancy than with my other two would make things easier? As a society, we are constantly told to lose weight and that it will fix everything that's wrong with us. If that's the case, then why am I so miserable? Don't get me wrong. I very much enjoyed the weight loss before I got pregnant, but I thought this pregnancy would be easier. I guess I was wrong.

My job is winding down. My bosses are looking to interview a few people in the next week or so. I can't wait. I feel so worn down and I really need to be home with my kids. They have started asking for my sister over me… that's just not cool. Brian says that now I know how he feels when the kids always want me. But this is different. They are cutting us BOTH out of their lives! Would they even notice if we didn't come home? (Of course they would. I'm just feeling sorry for myself.)

Despite our few trials, there's really nothing to complain about. We have seen so many tragedies over the last little while to know that we are truly lucky. We love each other, we have healthy children, Brian has steady work, we are ok financially, and we have tons of family support. I'm so grateful for all the things that are going right in our life. They far outweigh the bad parts, and it's my goal to focus on that and enjoy the blessings that are coming our way.

Christmas Letter

Has it been a year already? So much has been going on at the Mecham house that we don't know if we can fit it all in one letter.

Dallin turned 5 and started kindergarten in August and is doing really well. While his classmates are busy learning the alphabet, he is reading! He amazes us every day by what he can comprehend. Forget Dr. Seuss. He likes reading the more challenging stuff, like cereal boxes, billboards, and warning labels. Dallin loves Batman (he was Batman for Halloween). He also has been showing more of an interest in music. We love it! He asked Cheryl to teach him the "Monsters vs. Aliens president song" (Axel F). He learned it in one day and plays it over and over now. He has also been singing more as well.

Alyssa will turn 4 in February and is still our little girly girl. She was Belle for Halloween and made a point to twirl for anyone that would look her way. She constantly asks if she can wear makeup and she's only truly happy when she is wearing a dress. She started preschool in September and has loved it. She is also really smart. She has been writing her name with ease for some time now and has better handwriting than Dallin. She is very artistic and loves to color and draw all the time. She's really into Barbies and Polly Pockets and princess movies.

Brian has had an interesting year. He lost his job in July but ended up getting it back in September with the condition that he be willing to take on the assignment to oversee a job in Fillmore (2 ½ hours away). He is now out of town weekly from Monday to Thursday until next August. Working in Fillmore is better than no job at all and it's guaranteed employment until August, so we can't complain too much. But needless to say, it's very hard on him and we miss him terribly. At church, he was called earlier this year as the executive secretary to the Bishop. It's been really hard for him to keep it up from Fillmore, but he's determined to make it work.

Cheryl started a job in August as an editorial assistant for the Deseret News and Church News downtown. This is the first job she has had in 5 years and it's a huge adjustment from her stay-at-home mom life. We thought it would take a while for Brian to get a job in his field, so we thought Cheryl better get a job to cover things until he did. His work called him to come back one week after Cheryl started her job. Talk about terrible timing. Cheryl promised 6 months to her new employers so they would feel they weren't wasting their time on her, so she's stuck for a while. She is still the pianist in Relief Society and the unofficial advertising specialist for the enrichment committee.

So, what's happening with the kids while we are both working, you ask? Cheryl's sister Julie and her family moved in with us in August. They sold their house in Tooele and were planning on staying with us for a few weeks while they found a new house. As luck would have it, they couldn't find anything they liked right away, so they have stuck around and Julie has become the most wonderful second mother to the kids. It's still really difficult for everyone involved, but we are trying to make the most of it. And it's only temporary. We feel so blessed that Cheryl can quit around February and doesn't have to continue to work, especially since she is pregnant with our third child. Surprise! We are so excited. We have waited a long time for this newest member of our family to join us and we can hardly wait to meet HER in May. (We had the ultrasound this morning and we are having a girl!)

If you made it through this whole novel, you are a real trooper. We wanted to let everyone know that through all our trials this past year, we truly feel blessed. We have been protected and cared for in ways that can only be attributed to Heavenly Father's hand in our lives. This season, we hope we can all focus on the true meaning of Christmas. Have a wonderful holiday season and a happy new year!

Love, Brian, Cheryl, Dallin, Alyssa, and Baby Mecham

Be smart this holiday season

It makes me really sad to see so much greed and overspending going on all around me. It seems as if everyone around me has all the money in the world to spend on their children at Christmas. At Walmart (in West Valley, I might add), I see parents with carts overflowing with expensive toys. I don't know of many neighborhoods in West Valley that are filled with people rich enough to be spending so extravagantly. These are people that have probably lost their jobs in the past year or survived a layoff. At the very least they have probably had someone close to them affected by the economy. Doesn't it make them a little nervous to be spending all their money, or more likely, racking up their credit cards, when their future is unsure? Doesn't it make them feel guilty that they are surrounded by people that are less fortunate? Doesn't it make them worried that their kids, with such an abundant choice of toys, will choose to play with the discarded wrapping paper instead? Or forget about these toys in a month and start demanding more from their indulgent parents?

Having gone through Brian's job loss this past year has really opened our eyes on wasteful spending. It hasn't cured us completely, and we are far from perfect, but we also realize how important it is to save. We could have lost our house if his unemployment had continued a few more months. I feel like with Brian and I both working right now, we are better off that we ever have been, but most of the abundance is going straight into savings. In this economy we can't afford NOT to save. Unemployment could happen to us again at any time. You never know what the future holds, but we are going to be as prepared as possible. Our kids are only getting 3 or 4 presents each, none costing more than $35 each and most costing around $10 each. And I'm positive that they will both be thrilled with their presents and not notice anything lacking.

I know there's a lot of pressure from kids to get them what they want. There's also the pressure of keeping up with the Joneses, or the pressure on your kids from schoolmates to trump each other with the presents they received ("I got more than you!" or "My presents were more expensive/bigger than yours!") But what are we really teaching our children by giving them big expensive things or way too many things? Children these days could really use a lesson in responsibility and humility. They need to be aware that there are so many that can't even afford food, let alone presents.

They also need to be aware of money and what it takes to earn it. We've started giving our kids a little allowance every week, and I've been very proud of their decisions. When they ask for something at the store, I ask them if they want to buy it with their own money. Every time, Dallin has said, "No, I want to save it for something else." If he didn't have his own money, he would have whined the whole way through the store that we didn't buy it, but when it comes down to his own money, he would rather not waste it on frivolous purchases. He's trying to save up for something that is worth it, and I'm proud of him.

I hope we can all humble ourselves this season and look around us. So many people are suffering, yet so many people are indulging. I hope we aren't on either side of that spectrum, and that we are sitting happily somewhere in the middle, having a great holiday season that isn't all about material goods. Presents are not the reason for the season! Merry Christmas everyone!

Parent/teacher Conferences

I am so proud of myself for writing on here more often! I'll try to keep it up.

I have to meet with Dallin's kindergarten teacher tonight for parent-teacher conferences. I'm a little nervous because she has blocked out a whole 30 minutes to meet with me and Dallin. I know he has had some troubles at school, mostly with paying attention and not playing nice. He's a brilliant child, so I'm not worried in the least about his "report card." We will probably talk the whole time about how I'm a bad mother and what I need to do better. I know I'm being harsh on myself, but from a teacher's perspective, when a child doesn't behave well, they tend to believe it's a problem with parenting. I'm gearing myself up to cry the entire time and insist that I AM a good mother and I AM trying my very best. It's making it harder and harder to keep working because I feel like if I were there for him during the day, he would be doing better. My sister is amazing with the kids, but she's not me and therein lies the problem: they need their mom.

But it's not too much longer. At the very most, I will work until March. If I have my way, I will work until January. Someday we will look back on all this as a distant memory. Now, if we could just get through Brian working out of town until August…. good times.

What's going on?

I feel like a lot of what I write on here is very negative and complaining...sorry! But read on. I have a positive message with this one! (But you have to read through a little negative first!)

Ok, what is going on with the world? I know the economy's down and it's cold outside, but this is scary. Our ward has it BAD. No one will volunteer to help. No one will comment in class. Class attendance is way down. Visiting and home teaching aren't really happening. People aren't fulfilling their callings. They don't show up on time. They won't agree to give a talk or even say a prayer. They don't attend ward temple night. They don’t attend their meetings….I could go on and on.

I can definitely see the influences of the world pulling people away. To all those (including me sometimes … I'm far from perfect) who get down and pull away from everything, I just have some "pick-me-up" words from President Monson. It's long, but I think we all need to hear it, especially the last paragraph:

"The world seems to have slipped from the moorings of safety and drifted from the harbor of peace.

Anxiously we ask, “Is there a way to safety? Can someone guide us? Is there an escape from threatened destruction?”

The answer is a resounding yes! I counsel you: Look to the lighthouse of the Lord. There is no fog so dense, no night so dark, no gale so strong, no mariner so lost but what its beacon light can rescue. It calls, “This way to safety; this way to home.”

I plead with you, my young brothers and sisters, to remember who you are. You are sons and daughters of Almighty God. You have a destiny to fulfill, a life to live, a contribution to make, a goal to achieve. The future of the kingdom of God upon the earth will, in part, be aided by your devotion.

Let us remember that the wisdom of God may appear as foolishness to men, but the greatest single lesson we can learn in mortality is that when God speaks and we obey, we will always be right. Some foolish persons turn their backs on the wisdom of God and follow the allurement of fickle fashion, the attraction of false popularity, and the thrill of the moment. Their course of conduct so resembles the disastrous experience of Esau, who exchanged his birthright for a mess of pottage (see Gen. 25:29–34).

And what are the results of such action? I testify to you that turning away from God brings broken covenants, shattered dreams, vanished ambitions, evaporated plans, unfulfilled expectations, crushed hopes, misused drives, warped character, and wrecked lives.

Such a quagmire of quicksand I plead with you to avoid.

You are of a noble birthright. Exaltation in the celestial kingdom is your goal.
Such a goal is not achieved in one glorious attempt but rather is the result of a lifetime of righteousness, an accumulation of wise choices, even a constancy of purpose.

Our goal is to achieve, to excel, to strive for perfection. Remember, however, that our business in life is not to get ahead of others but to get ahead of ourselves. To break our own record, to outstrip our yesterdays by today, to bear our trials more beautifully than we ever dreamed we could, to give as we never have given, to do our work with more force and a finer finish than ever—this is the true objective. And to accomplish this task, our attitude is reflected in a determination to make the most of our opportunities.

The race of life is not optional. We are on the track and running, whether we like it or not. Some see dimly the goal ahead and take costly detours which lead to disappointment and frustration. Others view clearly the prize for running well and remain steadfast in pursuit. This prize, this lofty and desirable goal, is none other than eternal life in the presence of God.

Amidst the confusion of our age, the conflicts of conscience, and the turmoil of daily living, an abiding faith becomes an anchor to our lives.

By seeking Heavenly Father in personal and family prayer, we and our loved ones will develop the fulfillment of what the great English statesman William E. Gladstone described as the world’s greatest need: “A living faith in a personal God.” Such faith will illuminate our way as the lighthouse of the Lord.

When you have an abiding faith in the living God, when your outward actions reflect your inner convictions, you have the composite strength of exposed and hidden virtues. They combine to give safe passage through whatever rough seas might arise.

Wherever we may be, our Heavenly Father can hear and answer the prayer offered in faith.

Remember that faith and doubt cannot exist in the same mind at the same time, for one will dispel the other.

Should doubt knock at your doorway, just say to those skeptical, disturbing, rebellious thoughts: “I propose to stay with my faith, with the faith of my people. I know that happiness and contentment are there, and I forbid you, agnostic, doubting thoughts, to destroy the house of my faith. I acknowledge that I do not understand the processes of creation, but I accept the fact of it. I grant that I cannot explain the miracles of the Bible, and I do not attempt to do so, but I accept God’s word. I wasn’t with Joseph, but I believe him. My faith did not come to me through science, and I will not permit so-called science to destroy it.”

“The Lighthouse of the Lord,” New Era, Feb 2001

The longest post ever!

So, I haven't written forever. The last anyone knows from this blog is that my world is over and Brian doesn't have a job. In August, I was able to get a job and about 1 week after I started, Brian got his job back. Great timing, huh? And I promised my work that I would stay at least 6 months, so I'm stuck. Anyway, it just so happened that my sister and her family are staying with us until they find a house. They haven't had any luck, so everything is just falling into place and she is watching the kids while I'm at work. Brian's working on a project in Fillmore, so every week he is in Fillmore from Monday through Thursday. It really stinks, but I'm just glad my sister and family are with me so I don't feel so alone. They are such a support right now. Family is great!

Ok, so I don’t know what's come over me, but I read an article yesterday that I just can't get out of my head. (http://www.deseretnews.com/article/705343400/Utah-group-finds-homes-for-orphans.html) It's about two orphan brothers that came to the U.S. to get adopted, but didn't succeed in finding a family and were sent back to Ukraine. The people involved said that the kids were never told that they would be adopted, so there's no harm done. It was advertised as just a really neat trip to America, but knowing that 25 of the 31 kids that came will be adopted, there's no way the 25 kids aren't going to talk about it to the 6 kids that didn't find a home.

Working at the newspaper, I hear terrible things every day and I usually shed a few tears and then force myself not to think about it anymore. I tried that with this article and for some reason it's an impossible task. I was asking Brian what he thought it meant. Are we supposed to adopt these kids? We decided that no, that wasn't right for us right now. It doesn't make any sense. Not only because of the insane amount of money but because I am expecting. Surprise! (Sad that you have to read through my boring post before you get the good gossip, huh?).

So, what am I supposed to do? Why is the story of these boys eating away at me constantly bringing me to tears every other minute? I know, you are thinking it's pregnancy hormones, but, like I said, I always cry at sad news, but then I let it go. The very best thing I can think to do is to get the word out to as many people as possible that these boys need a home. Maybe someone I reach will be able to adopt these boys. Please help. Spread the word! Thanks.