Brian's gone again...

I've had a horrible day. Brian is down in Fillmore again and Dallin and Alyssa are intent on driving me completely bonkers. Brian doesn't get back until Thursday evening, and I'm afraid he's going to come back to a crazy wife, dirty and hungry children, and the messiest house he's ever seen. I need to get some motivation going here. I haven't posted forever, so I thought this was a good start. Hopefully I'll feel like I accomplished something afterward and it will give me the encouragement I need to get going on something else.

The summer has passed by so quickly that I can't believe Dallin starts school on Monday. I'm not ready. He's going to another school and he has to take the bus. He just turned six on Saturday and my paranoid mother brain is telling me that he's too young to ride the bus. He's too young to stay away from me all day every day and make it on the bus to get home. He's too young to open his applesauce, zip his jacket, make new friends, buy a lunch, find the bathroom, etc. I know it's irrational, but I think every mom must go through these feelings to an extent when their oldest goes to school. I am excited for him to start at this new school though. It's for kids that are advanced readers. Because the kids are advanced, they can focus on other things that other schools don't, like music, art, and drama. I'm really thrilled he was accepted. I just need to get past all my fears about him going.

Alyssa doesn't start preschool until September 8, so we'll have some time together for a few weeks. I wish she was going to kindergarten. She's so ready. At least she enjoys preschool, more for the social aspect than anything. I'm glad she hasn't decided to be bored with it yet. We are thinking about getting her into dance again because that's all she does at home. She keeps asking to put her dance leotard on that's two sizes too small and just prances around the house. He favorite song to dance to is "Roxanne" from Moulin Rouge. She gets all dramatic and waves a scarf around and everything. It's pretty entertaining.

Emily is perfect. She is my best baby by far. I can't look at her without feeling this overwhelming love for her and gratitude that she is so good, because my other kids have started acting up to the extreme and I don't know how I could handle a fussy baby on top of everything they are dishing out. She is 3 1/2 months old now and has been sleeping through the night for over a month. She hardly cries, she eats right on schedule, sleeps all the time, smiles all the time for no apparent reason (my kids say she's smiling at the angels), and is just generally enjoyable in every way. We feel so blessed and can look back and realize what a blessing it was that we had to wait so long for her to join our family.

I feel so blessed to have children. Brian and I were talking about how common it is these days for people to not be able to have children and we've had our own troubles with that, so I am just so grateful that in the end I have 3 beautiful children to love. They were worth everything it took to get them here.

Brian's time in Fillmore is technically tapering off, but this week they asked him to come for 3 days instead of 1 or 2 that he's been doing for the past month. It's really hard to have him gone so long. It's gets me in such a slump at home. It's hard to function when I know I'll have no reinforcements coming home in the evening.

It's hard to believe the summer is almost over. I had so many plans, the biggest of which was going to be a hymn arrangement for our ward choir. I haven't even started it. I was sure that was going to be my big thing these past few months. It's amazing how time can get away from you so easily. Oh well. Andrea always picks the greatest music for us, so maybe next year I'll come up with my masterpiece.