I am so proud of myself for writing on here more often! I'll try to keep it up.
I have to meet with Dallin's kindergarten teacher tonight for parent-teacher conferences. I'm a little nervous because she has blocked out a whole 30 minutes to meet with me and Dallin. I know he has had some troubles at school, mostly with paying attention and not playing nice. He's a brilliant child, so I'm not worried in the least about his "report card." We will probably talk the whole time about how I'm a bad mother and what I need to do better. I know I'm being harsh on myself, but from a teacher's perspective, when a child doesn't behave well, they tend to believe it's a problem with parenting. I'm gearing myself up to cry the entire time and insist that I AM a good mother and I AM trying my very best. It's making it harder and harder to keep working because I feel like if I were there for him during the day, he would be doing better. My sister is amazing with the kids, but she's not me and therein lies the problem: they need their mom.
But it's not too much longer. At the very most, I will work until March. If I have my way, I will work until January. Someday we will look back on all this as a distant memory. Now, if we could just get through Brian working out of town until August…. good times.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Monday, November 23, 2009
What's going on?
I feel like a lot of what I write on here is very negative and complaining...sorry! But read on. I have a positive message with this one! (But you have to read through a little negative first!)
Ok, what is going on with the world? I know the economy's down and it's cold outside, but this is scary. Our ward has it BAD. No one will volunteer to help. No one will comment in class. Class attendance is way down. Visiting and home teaching aren't really happening. People aren't fulfilling their callings. They don't show up on time. They won't agree to give a talk or even say a prayer. They don't attend ward temple night. They don’t attend their meetings….I could go on and on.
I can definitely see the influences of the world pulling people away. To all those (including me sometimes … I'm far from perfect) who get down and pull away from everything, I just have some "pick-me-up" words from President Monson. It's long, but I think we all need to hear it, especially the last paragraph:
"The world seems to have slipped from the moorings of safety and drifted from the harbor of peace.
Anxiously we ask, “Is there a way to safety? Can someone guide us? Is there an escape from threatened destruction?”
The answer is a resounding yes! I counsel you: Look to the lighthouse of the Lord. There is no fog so dense, no night so dark, no gale so strong, no mariner so lost but what its beacon light can rescue. It calls, “This way to safety; this way to home.”
I plead with you, my young brothers and sisters, to remember who you are. You are sons and daughters of Almighty God. You have a destiny to fulfill, a life to live, a contribution to make, a goal to achieve. The future of the kingdom of God upon the earth will, in part, be aided by your devotion.
Let us remember that the wisdom of God may appear as foolishness to men, but the greatest single lesson we can learn in mortality is that when God speaks and we obey, we will always be right. Some foolish persons turn their backs on the wisdom of God and follow the allurement of fickle fashion, the attraction of false popularity, and the thrill of the moment. Their course of conduct so resembles the disastrous experience of Esau, who exchanged his birthright for a mess of pottage (see Gen. 25:29–34).
And what are the results of such action? I testify to you that turning away from God brings broken covenants, shattered dreams, vanished ambitions, evaporated plans, unfulfilled expectations, crushed hopes, misused drives, warped character, and wrecked lives.
Such a quagmire of quicksand I plead with you to avoid.
You are of a noble birthright. Exaltation in the celestial kingdom is your goal.
Such a goal is not achieved in one glorious attempt but rather is the result of a lifetime of righteousness, an accumulation of wise choices, even a constancy of purpose.
Our goal is to achieve, to excel, to strive for perfection. Remember, however, that our business in life is not to get ahead of others but to get ahead of ourselves. To break our own record, to outstrip our yesterdays by today, to bear our trials more beautifully than we ever dreamed we could, to give as we never have given, to do our work with more force and a finer finish than ever—this is the true objective. And to accomplish this task, our attitude is reflected in a determination to make the most of our opportunities.
The race of life is not optional. We are on the track and running, whether we like it or not. Some see dimly the goal ahead and take costly detours which lead to disappointment and frustration. Others view clearly the prize for running well and remain steadfast in pursuit. This prize, this lofty and desirable goal, is none other than eternal life in the presence of God.
Amidst the confusion of our age, the conflicts of conscience, and the turmoil of daily living, an abiding faith becomes an anchor to our lives.
By seeking Heavenly Father in personal and family prayer, we and our loved ones will develop the fulfillment of what the great English statesman William E. Gladstone described as the world’s greatest need: “A living faith in a personal God.” Such faith will illuminate our way as the lighthouse of the Lord.
When you have an abiding faith in the living God, when your outward actions reflect your inner convictions, you have the composite strength of exposed and hidden virtues. They combine to give safe passage through whatever rough seas might arise.
Wherever we may be, our Heavenly Father can hear and answer the prayer offered in faith.
Remember that faith and doubt cannot exist in the same mind at the same time, for one will dispel the other.
Should doubt knock at your doorway, just say to those skeptical, disturbing, rebellious thoughts: “I propose to stay with my faith, with the faith of my people. I know that happiness and contentment are there, and I forbid you, agnostic, doubting thoughts, to destroy the house of my faith. I acknowledge that I do not understand the processes of creation, but I accept the fact of it. I grant that I cannot explain the miracles of the Bible, and I do not attempt to do so, but I accept God’s word. I wasn’t with Joseph, but I believe him. My faith did not come to me through science, and I will not permit so-called science to destroy it.”
“The Lighthouse of the Lord,” New Era, Feb 2001
Ok, what is going on with the world? I know the economy's down and it's cold outside, but this is scary. Our ward has it BAD. No one will volunteer to help. No one will comment in class. Class attendance is way down. Visiting and home teaching aren't really happening. People aren't fulfilling their callings. They don't show up on time. They won't agree to give a talk or even say a prayer. They don't attend ward temple night. They don’t attend their meetings….I could go on and on.
I can definitely see the influences of the world pulling people away. To all those (including me sometimes … I'm far from perfect) who get down and pull away from everything, I just have some "pick-me-up" words from President Monson. It's long, but I think we all need to hear it, especially the last paragraph:
"The world seems to have slipped from the moorings of safety and drifted from the harbor of peace.
Anxiously we ask, “Is there a way to safety? Can someone guide us? Is there an escape from threatened destruction?”
The answer is a resounding yes! I counsel you: Look to the lighthouse of the Lord. There is no fog so dense, no night so dark, no gale so strong, no mariner so lost but what its beacon light can rescue. It calls, “This way to safety; this way to home.”
I plead with you, my young brothers and sisters, to remember who you are. You are sons and daughters of Almighty God. You have a destiny to fulfill, a life to live, a contribution to make, a goal to achieve. The future of the kingdom of God upon the earth will, in part, be aided by your devotion.
Let us remember that the wisdom of God may appear as foolishness to men, but the greatest single lesson we can learn in mortality is that when God speaks and we obey, we will always be right. Some foolish persons turn their backs on the wisdom of God and follow the allurement of fickle fashion, the attraction of false popularity, and the thrill of the moment. Their course of conduct so resembles the disastrous experience of Esau, who exchanged his birthright for a mess of pottage (see Gen. 25:29–34).
And what are the results of such action? I testify to you that turning away from God brings broken covenants, shattered dreams, vanished ambitions, evaporated plans, unfulfilled expectations, crushed hopes, misused drives, warped character, and wrecked lives.
Such a quagmire of quicksand I plead with you to avoid.
You are of a noble birthright. Exaltation in the celestial kingdom is your goal.
Such a goal is not achieved in one glorious attempt but rather is the result of a lifetime of righteousness, an accumulation of wise choices, even a constancy of purpose.
Our goal is to achieve, to excel, to strive for perfection. Remember, however, that our business in life is not to get ahead of others but to get ahead of ourselves. To break our own record, to outstrip our yesterdays by today, to bear our trials more beautifully than we ever dreamed we could, to give as we never have given, to do our work with more force and a finer finish than ever—this is the true objective. And to accomplish this task, our attitude is reflected in a determination to make the most of our opportunities.
The race of life is not optional. We are on the track and running, whether we like it or not. Some see dimly the goal ahead and take costly detours which lead to disappointment and frustration. Others view clearly the prize for running well and remain steadfast in pursuit. This prize, this lofty and desirable goal, is none other than eternal life in the presence of God.
Amidst the confusion of our age, the conflicts of conscience, and the turmoil of daily living, an abiding faith becomes an anchor to our lives.
By seeking Heavenly Father in personal and family prayer, we and our loved ones will develop the fulfillment of what the great English statesman William E. Gladstone described as the world’s greatest need: “A living faith in a personal God.” Such faith will illuminate our way as the lighthouse of the Lord.
When you have an abiding faith in the living God, when your outward actions reflect your inner convictions, you have the composite strength of exposed and hidden virtues. They combine to give safe passage through whatever rough seas might arise.
Wherever we may be, our Heavenly Father can hear and answer the prayer offered in faith.
Remember that faith and doubt cannot exist in the same mind at the same time, for one will dispel the other.
Should doubt knock at your doorway, just say to those skeptical, disturbing, rebellious thoughts: “I propose to stay with my faith, with the faith of my people. I know that happiness and contentment are there, and I forbid you, agnostic, doubting thoughts, to destroy the house of my faith. I acknowledge that I do not understand the processes of creation, but I accept the fact of it. I grant that I cannot explain the miracles of the Bible, and I do not attempt to do so, but I accept God’s word. I wasn’t with Joseph, but I believe him. My faith did not come to me through science, and I will not permit so-called science to destroy it.”
“The Lighthouse of the Lord,” New Era, Feb 2001
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
The longest post ever!
So, I haven't written forever. The last anyone knows from this blog is that my world is over and Brian doesn't have a job. In August, I was able to get a job and about 1 week after I started, Brian got his job back. Great timing, huh? And I promised my work that I would stay at least 6 months, so I'm stuck. Anyway, it just so happened that my sister and her family are staying with us until they find a house. They haven't had any luck, so everything is just falling into place and she is watching the kids while I'm at work. Brian's working on a project in Fillmore, so every week he is in Fillmore from Monday through Thursday. It really stinks, but I'm just glad my sister and family are with me so I don't feel so alone. They are such a support right now. Family is great!
Ok, so I don’t know what's come over me, but I read an article yesterday that I just can't get out of my head. (http://www.deseretnews.com/article/705343400/Utah-group-finds-homes-for-orphans.html) It's about two orphan brothers that came to the U.S. to get adopted, but didn't succeed in finding a family and were sent back to Ukraine. The people involved said that the kids were never told that they would be adopted, so there's no harm done. It was advertised as just a really neat trip to America, but knowing that 25 of the 31 kids that came will be adopted, there's no way the 25 kids aren't going to talk about it to the 6 kids that didn't find a home.
Working at the newspaper, I hear terrible things every day and I usually shed a few tears and then force myself not to think about it anymore. I tried that with this article and for some reason it's an impossible task. I was asking Brian what he thought it meant. Are we supposed to adopt these kids? We decided that no, that wasn't right for us right now. It doesn't make any sense. Not only because of the insane amount of money but because I am expecting. Surprise! (Sad that you have to read through my boring post before you get the good gossip, huh?).
So, what am I supposed to do? Why is the story of these boys eating away at me constantly bringing me to tears every other minute? I know, you are thinking it's pregnancy hormones, but, like I said, I always cry at sad news, but then I let it go. The very best thing I can think to do is to get the word out to as many people as possible that these boys need a home. Maybe someone I reach will be able to adopt these boys. Please help. Spread the word! Thanks.
Ok, so I don’t know what's come over me, but I read an article yesterday that I just can't get out of my head. (http://www.deseretnews.com/article/705343400/Utah-group-finds-homes-for-orphans.html) It's about two orphan brothers that came to the U.S. to get adopted, but didn't succeed in finding a family and were sent back to Ukraine. The people involved said that the kids were never told that they would be adopted, so there's no harm done. It was advertised as just a really neat trip to America, but knowing that 25 of the 31 kids that came will be adopted, there's no way the 25 kids aren't going to talk about it to the 6 kids that didn't find a home.
Working at the newspaper, I hear terrible things every day and I usually shed a few tears and then force myself not to think about it anymore. I tried that with this article and for some reason it's an impossible task. I was asking Brian what he thought it meant. Are we supposed to adopt these kids? We decided that no, that wasn't right for us right now. It doesn't make any sense. Not only because of the insane amount of money but because I am expecting. Surprise! (Sad that you have to read through my boring post before you get the good gossip, huh?).
So, what am I supposed to do? Why is the story of these boys eating away at me constantly bringing me to tears every other minute? I know, you are thinking it's pregnancy hormones, but, like I said, I always cry at sad news, but then I let it go. The very best thing I can think to do is to get the word out to as many people as possible that these boys need a home. Maybe someone I reach will be able to adopt these boys. Please help. Spread the word! Thanks.
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